Day 3 probably the hardest day ive had. feeling battered bruises and beaten all i wanted was to feel my heart in my arms. broke down before breakfast i wanted to go home and i want to just be with her. i knew i had to be strong i was where i always had dreamed to be but she was the only thing missing i couldnt bare to eat breakfast this morning anxiety depression had surely hit. you know when you just crave and dream ofsomeone so much you weirdly become drunk on the emotion. not wanting to talk about what i was upto today as fridays are more of a free session but i wanted to take time to touch on how special she is to me & am truely the luckiest man on the earth to be with the greatest woman on the earth. im hoping to meet her in australia although im scared she wont. my whole life ive gone through being told im not good enough and never will be plays huge doubts in my mind i even had a teacher sit me down and tell me to give up on life because i wont get good grades and ill never be happy. i guess deep down is a routed problem in my life because i know i am good enough and i know i can be happy but its certainly days like this that make me feel otherwise. i self sabotage and i can break easily i find myself dealing with my problems alone because i get scared to burden people i guess thats a trait i pick up from being obsessed with my superheros. carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders until i cant take it anymore…i felt coming here would make me feel more like one but infact has done the opposite is it sad to miss someone so much the soul hurts? i guess the reason being she makes me feel as human as i actually am.
today ive sat on my bed reading the book 5 pages in im torn. Take Me Home.